Two Crazy Lovebirds
by paintedallup
Summary: Heroes/The Dark Knight; Elle and the Joker, Batman, Sylar.


Unlike the all but familiar tune, '_Two lovebird sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G'_ for the two of us it went something a little more like this_ 'two crazies sitting in a tree_ _L-A-U-G-H-I-N-G L-I-K-E-A-C-O-U-P-L-E-O-F-N-U-T-E-R-S_' because that's us to a _T._

Instead of meeting like any _regular_ couple (crashing into each other on the street, planes, buses, you get the _vast_ picture) doing the whole_ 'love at first sight_' bullshit that I've heard so much about, it all began in an _asylum_.

Yes, _folks_, the_ nut house_, it may not be the best place to pick up a date but didn't I say my new _boy-toy_ is the one and only _Joker_?

(the one that almost brought _Gotham_ down in flames of _red_ and _white_)

And he's _crazier_ then me and _Sylar_ combined.

And he's so shiny (like _Peter_, _Mohinder_, _Adam_ and _Sylar_ the first time they came rolling it, just to leave a _wreckage_ as they went), my brand new _toy_ and he only shines, with that king of all _grins_, for me and me _alone_.

-

"Hello there, _beautiful_ (and you _are_ beautiful)."

Just looking at him (grinning away at me if I was the _Alice_ to his _mad hatter,_ which I hear he does to every _breathing_ female here) you could tell what was missing, the one thing that made him, and so as always they made sure to take that away _first_.

So before me wasn't the man in _make-up _(the only straight guy that could ever pull it off), no, he was just a _loon_ with scars that when stretched out could touch the ceiling and _back_.

"_I know_, anything else you'd like to point out, _scarface_? And anyway isn't there a rule about females and males sharing _loony-bin_ rooms?"

(hmm...maybe it was because I set all four of my other '_female_', even if you could the last one that, hair on fire with one twitch of a finger.)

"Well, I guess they broke them just for the two of us maybe they know something we don't, _Blondie_ (is it real or fake, maybe I should just take it by the roots.). _Soul-mates_. _Hahaehahaahehaheahaahahaenahhaaaeamahehahahahamaehhahahamaheaa._"

And that my friends, excluding everyone with a name starting with the letters, _S, P, A,_ and _M_ (each one of you know who you are and be ready to _pay_, but not by my own _little_ hands,_ hehehehehe_), was how I came to met the one and only _Joker_.

"Nice to me you too, top bunk is mine, touch it and die a _great_ and _blue_ death, _just try me, assclown_."

-

Never in my life (filled to the brim with toys in all _shapes_ and _sizes_ and all those _crazy_ times) had I laughed so much, which didn't help me get out of this _goddamn_ place any sooner.

But even though leaving was the _one_ thing I wanted to do, when it would come true (with only _me_, _myself_, and _I_ to welcome me back into the world) there would be one thing I would miss about this _hell hole_ and that was _him_.

(because he'll never get out, and I mean _never_. Not even good behavior, which he despises with all of his _clown_ heart, could save him from this fate.)

So instead of saying our _goodbyes_ (which would not hold any tears but a whole lot of _snorts_ and _giggles_) we planed the greatest escape know in this place (and to _man_), which so far has been good at getting the _crazies_ and _keeping_ them, well,_ they used to be._

When the day came (when they smiled down at me, in their white coats and needles hidden in deep pockets, and said '_now, Elle, be a good girl'_) instead of a goodbye there was only a _kiss_ and one single word '_soon_'

And those_ son of a bitches _had no idea how _soon_.

-

_Three_ days (_four_ hours, _five_ minutes and _ten_ seconds) after I was released back into the society like a good '_reformed_' crazy once again every person in _Gotham_ shook with fear because of the _Joker_ (even the _Batman_ let out some not very nice words when the news hit his_ bat-ears_).

(all of those _foes_ the _strange_ and _normal_, the normal these days were so very few it was _quite_ scary, were wasting away behind bars because of one man who is _almost_ as strange as them, _the Batman_.)

And so we both have been in hiding and in the public eye (in _hotel_ rooms, _lairs_ and places of all _kinds_), because you know us, we need the _limelight_ just to _stay_ alive and so far we've been getting so much of it our egos have grown _fat_ with _glee._

(and all of that terror that we've have put in to their _little_ human hearts)

Sadly for me, all the knowledge about enemy _number_ one (besides _Sylar_, 'who will be dead very soon' as the boyfriends always says), _the Batman_, comes from him because I haven't had the pleasure of meeting the great _bat_ myself.

But I doubt that will last very long, because of my line of work (being crazy 24/7) and the man who calls me his _boo_.

And that day will be so much (_crazy_!) fun I doubt I'll be able to _stop_ laughing.

_Mhahaeheehahahhhmheeahheehhaehhhmhheeahahehahahaha!_


End file.
